Game Changers
This
story is very special to me. I made this post to send a strong message
about bullying in school. Everyone is different and has qualities that
make them special and unique. This story celebrates young people who are
strong enough to be themselves despite what other people may say about
them. Interestingly enough, they have all been teased about their
clothes, what they wear, and who they chose to hang out with. To be a game changer is to go against the grain and to be confident and happy in exactly who you are, whether you are bullied or not. I hope this inspires at least one person to become a game changer too.
All photographs taken by Madeline Buckley
"You never know how you're actions may be affecting other people. You may not think it's bullying, but it could be interpreted that way."-Madeline Buckley
Gretta’s Story:
In sixth grade I went through a phase where I just wanted to
be cool. That was what I wanted more than anything, and I just wasn’t cool at
the time. All the popular girls wore Abercrombie & Fitch and Hollister, and
I didn’t have those kinds of clothes at all. I sort of made it into the popular
group somehow, but every time I would say something they would just shut me
down. It was almost like they just wanted me around to have another person in
their posse, but I never talked at all or gave my opinion. I was never their
first option of who to invite over to hang out.
One time, I went to Abby’s* (name has been changed) house and she got three other
phone calls while I was there from other girls, she had asked to come over
before me. I heard her say to them, “well, I called you but you didn’t answer
so I had to ask Gretta instead.” I
heard the conversation, and knew right away that clearly she didn’t really want
me there, I was just a backup. By seventh grade, I realized how mean they all
really were. None of them really cared about me, I was just around.
I went to a birthday party once where there was an odd
number of girls, and every time we had to pair up for something, I was always
left alone at the end, and the entire time they picked on everything I wore,
and everything I said and all the stuff I brought. It was the worst weekend,
and I remember not having any fun and feeling really hurt and excluded from
everything. That year I began to realize that they were the ones who weren’t cool.
I ended up not having many friends, but at that point it was better to have no
friends at all, then to have friends who were so mean spirited and cruel.
There was one big thing that I did that year that changed
everything around. I had this skirt that I had always wanted to wear high
waisted, and nobody wore high waisted skirts at the time. I was afraid to wear
it because I was afraid of what people might say. I had had the skirt in my
drawers for years, all the time wanting to wear it, but being too timid to
actually do it. I finally decided to wear it that year, and after that I came
to the realization that I just didn’t care anymore. I’m going to do what I
want, and I am going to wear this skirt. It was a flowered skirt, and it’s kind
of hideous now but I wore it all the time that year.
I’m glad I went through the phase honestly, because I
realized how stupid it is to bring other people down. But I’m glad that it
happened earlier rather than later, because there was peer pressure then, but
not like it is now, it wasn’t about drugs. If it were me trying to fit in now
and not feeling good enough now, I mean those girls all do drugs now, so I
probably would have ended up doing the same, because at the time I really wanted
to be cool.
"I think you have to learn how to
be by yourself. "
And now I just don’t really care about what other people think.
There are still people who pick on what I wear and who I sit with at lunch, but
I can see how unimportant that stuff is now. I think you have to learn how to
be by yourself. What I mean is, if you don’t learn how to stand on your own and have your own
opinions, and wear whatever you want, then you will fall into a trap. I don’t
want to be another clone of Abercrombie, or whatever is cool at the time, I
want to be myself. There is nothing cool about blending in so that you become a
product of what other people think is right or “cool.”
Sometimes, you have to be tough, even when all you want to do is shrink. You stand up for yourself, and you will automatically gain a confidence that nothing and nobody can touch.
Be brave enough to be different.
Beatrice:
"I just kinda throw stuff on, but it doesn’t really matter to
me what other people think. People used to make fun of me for staying back a
grade. I got teased on the school bus and kids would laugh at me. I like the
idea of being a game changer, because it gives me power to think that I can do
anything."
"If I could I would wear this globe make up every day. I like that its
out of this world and something so crazy and different. I want to tell kids who
get bullied to stand up for what you believe in."
Grace's Story:
Many
of us have had experiences with bullying, and I am no stranger to that.
In middle school I was a part of a very small group of students and I
had recently moved from New York so I was "the new girl." I was
artistic, quiet, and very different from all of the other kids in my
class. Naturally this made me a target. I used to cry every day going to
school because people always made fun of my clothes, and it gave me the worst anxiety. I was
the outsider and they reminded me of that every day for about two years. Luckily
for me, I had a lot of support from my family. My parents helped me
through a lot and always reminded me that I had something special to
offer.
During middle school I started to get really interested
in drawing, knitting, and sewing, and I began to realize that that was
what I wanted to do. By the time I got to 8th grade and high school, I
started to become more confident in myself and in what I was good at. I
made up outfits from hand me downs from my cousins, or things I would
find at the vintage store next to my house. Looking at it now, some of
the colorful things I would wear were really ridiculous, but at the time
I didn't care, because I liked it, so it didn't matter to me anymore
what other people thought. When I began to apply for college, I only
looked at schools that had fashion programs because by that time I had
already decided that was what I was going to do.
"Sometimes you have to be a little bit of a warrior, and fight for who you are. People will try to change you, but the true test is being able to stick to what you believe in despite everything else."
By my sophmore year in college, I had won a nationwide design
contest for one of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's clothing lines, and I
got to go to New York City to meet them. That experience was one of the
greatest opportunities I ever had, and ever since it has only propelled
me to continue pushing myself in the direction of what I love. As fate
would have it, some of the same kids who teased me and made fun of me in
middle school and high school reached out to me after hearing I had won
the contest and wanted to re-connect and become friends again.
The
bottom line is that clothes do not define who you are. This blog isn't
filled with only designer labels because that is not what I care about.
While I love YSL and Gucci as much as the next girl, I think the person
makes the outfit, not the other way around. I am so proud of these kids
for being brave enough to stay true to themselves, and for that I think
they are the most stylish young people I know.
"You have to be able to march to the beat of your own drum."
Bullying can happen for many different reasons, but
chances are if you are being bullied, it is only because there is
something very special about you. The most important thing is to stay
true to who you are and never compromise on that. If I let the bullying
and teasing get to me, I know for a fact I wouldn't be sitting where I
am today. To be honest, I still get bullied and criticized not only by
my peers but by adults too. Don't let ANYONE squash your light. Everyone
has something unique about them that makes them different or makes them
stand out. Those qualities should be celebrated. If someone is bullying
you, it is probably because they just can't handle how fabuloussss you
are!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world, there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do, its not just in some of us its in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
xo the Little Sherlock
*Please share your feedback and stories in the comments section below. The images in this story will be turned into posters that we will be displayed in schools to get these stories and the message across. Lets stop bullying, and start encouraging the idea of being yourself. That is what a game changer is, and you can't beat the power of that, so join us. :)
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